“Yash, you call your makeshift mullet “lettuce”…is that where the Cyclospora outbreak started?”

“Houseguests! Your report cards are in. One of your scores stood out in particular. While you may have had an A in survivor. Your big brother score is definitely a *pause* DEE! ZING ZING ZING”

“Melody, I now see the reason why you made a career as a game show host. It's because you suck at playing them. Zing!”

“Shannon’s been absolutely killing it in the Big Brother draft! Great picks, great strategy, tons of points… It’s amazing what you can accomplish when CBS won’t let you play the REAL GAME! ZIIIIING!”

“Angela, looks like you moved on from crazy eyes to crazy lies. ZING!”

“Drew, with that hair, you look like you should be starring in a romantic movie… too bad the only romance you’ve got going on is in your imagination! When it comes to Melody, buddy, you’re not in a showmance… you’re in the friend zone with premium seating! ZING!”

“Drew, you spend more time working out your hair than your skinny legs—at least your hair is getting a workout! Those legs look like they’ve been skipping leg day since birth! ZING!”

“Barrett, you're a jumbotron engineer! You make everything huge so the whole stadium can see it. Everything except your game, which fans need binoculars to find. ZING!”

“Drew loves being the center of attention… which is perfect, because that’s exactly where the eviction chair is! ZING!”